Knowing me better

On the 20th of October 2006 I wrote my ‘first post on my first blog’. Now, exactly one year later I submit to you my 79th and last post. The past year has been extraordinary: working in Indonesia, travelling in Australia, New Zealand & China. Now I am back in the UK – it seems little has changed… being away you always think that you are missing out on so much at home, but maybe it is home that is missing out so much without you.

I have been re-reading my blog, reminding myself of some of the events I went through & seeing how I struggled to describe some of the cultures and countries I visited. There were some classic, if slightly ott lines from me: ‘this plethora of colour… makes the whole vista shimmer & shine like a leprechaun attached to the national grid’; and some insightful comments from my readers: ‘where in god's name do you find a synthetic penis in Bali?!’, as well as an ongoing debate on most topics between Kerry & DT.

There seemed to be a number of common themes: the advent, passing & return of homesickness; race, racism & cultural understanding; the fickleness & unfairness of the media. I think these are the areas in which I have learnt most – both about the world & about myself. Now that I am home, I hope that having shared these things with you whilst I was away, you will ‘know me better, not as a stranger but as myself’.

Homeward bound

I am on my way home. Properly this time - in a few hours I will board a plane bound for London Heathrow & step back onto English soil for the first time in nearly a year.

I left England expecting to spend 12 months living & working in Indonesia. But instead of (or kind of as well as) I have visited six different countries (plus two special administrative regions), seen two of the wonders of the world (plus five world heritage sites), taken 28 flights (plus one helicpoter) & had my passport stamped 26 times (plus four visas). I've met hundreds of people, some of whom I will stay in touch with for the rest of my life. I've seen so much, done so much, experienced so much. I've had some of the most amazing days of my life, but I've also had some of the worst - both will always stay with me.

So after all this it does feel a bit funny to be going home, but I am ready. It's not that I miss the specific & material things anymore - I learnt long ago to adapt & live without them. But I do miss friends & family. Modern communication has made being away from loved ones easier to bare than it may have been in the past, but all the same I am looking forward to a hug from my mum!

I am not sure how long the joy of being back on English soil will last... it's a risk that I've developed a taste for visiting foreign countries & cultures (regardless of how much I moan about them on my blog) that just hasn't been quenched yet. But for now the buzz of finally heading home is enough. It's been a long journey (in every sense) & I am ready for a rest... for a while at least.

A sense of history

China is old. The Chinese had mastered fire by 600.000bc, a written language & the paper to write it on by 2000bc & a common currency & system of weights and measures by 200bc. Furthermore, much of the evidence & artifacts from this time are still preserved today in China's modern cities & provinces.

the Great Wall

Seeing this is a little strange after Indonesia (which seemed to have forgotten its history) & Australia (which on the one hand had relatively no history & on the other a living history of primitive survival). I now understand the awe of American tourists visiting the UK ('it's so owld').

But the most amazing aspect of China's ancient civilization is how it is still respected today & how Chinese people still learn lessons from it. For example, ancient calligraphy carved 1000s of years ago is still studied by modern day students to learn good grammar & handwritting skills.

I am sure China has changed a huge amount since it opended its doors to the West 30 years ago. Next year it hosts the Olympic Games, putting it firmly in the global public eye. I am sure that the Chinese people will proudly display the modern infastructure created for the Games, but I am also sure that they will use it as an opportunity to showcase their long & facinating history.

the new Olympic stadium

Perceived Risk

My time away has seen me try so many different things. Often these have seemed intimidating - moving to a new country; travelling alone; working in a foreign culture. Sometimes they have seemed scary - diving with sharks; travelling on night buses; experiencing earthquakes. And sometimes they have seemed downright dangerous - riding motorbikes without helmets; snowboarding down mountains; swimming in huge seas. But waiting to throw myself off the side of a canyon the other day, my abseiling guide used the term 'perceived risk' & I guess that's what it's all about... some of the scariest things are infact the safest & some of the things that seem safe should, in reality, be treated with much greater caution.

I am now on the last leg of my trip travelling accross China. The country seems very different from the other Asian countries I have visited over the last year - more modern, more organised - but at the same time seems very familiar - a rice based diet, an incomprehensible language & culture. It feels safe, but at some level I do feel an undertone of fear... the ever present police & military; a proliferation of satelites & anntenae (for mobile phones apperently), a lack of political opposition or protest.

I am sure that my level of risk taking has changed over this past year - I am more open & willing to try new things - but that hasn't made me complacent. I still want to try intimidating, scary & occasionally dangerous things, but perhaps now I have a clearer understanding of how I (&others) perceive these risks.