Ready to go

Well I made it back to Ruteng at last, but I’m not happy about it. Coming back has made me realise how ready I am to leave this place. The boredom in the house and the hassle outside of it have always been hard for me to cope with, but it feels all the worse after having spent so much time away. I was always happier here (and maybe anywhere) when I had work to do, but now that has finished I am counting down the days till I can leave.

It’s hard to share these feelings with anyone else. My friends and colleagues in Ruteng have never (will never) understood why life is so hard for me here & what I gave up to do this. Ruteng is their city and they cannot possibly understand the different world I came from and miss so much. Zoe is of course supportive but it seems unfair to complain to her about getting through another two weeks when she has another two years – she is struggling enough with her own decision to stay.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a home / job / life that I’ve been so ready to give up so quickly, but I feel I’ve done what I needed to do here – both personally & professionally – and now it’s time to go. The list of things I’ll miss wont be long, but the list of things I’ve learnt, about myself & about other people, will be, but I’ll save that for another day. The highs and lows here have been immense, I just hope that I can snap out of this negativity soon so I can leave on a high.