Head up

These days I hold my head a little higher around Ruteng. Maybe I receive a little less attention than I used to, or maybe I am just better at ignoring it. Or maybe by holding my head higher, by feeling more confident, I look less vulnerable, less like a wary tourist and this has reduced the attention I was so nervous of before (this was certainly the case in Bali, where I received far less hassle from the hawkers on my last visit than when I first arrived 7 months ago).

So I am coping better, but all the same there are still a lot of people who shout, point & stare as I pass. It makes me feel like a freak, and I know that what is so shocking / amazing / scary is my white skin. A debate I commonly have, both with Zoe & my Indonesian friends is whether this is racist. The attention is not malicious, but I am being judged by my skin colour & it makes me uncomfortable… I feel that this experience has, on some level, given me an insight into what life might be like for ethnic minorities back home in the UK.

So on this level I am quite looking forward to going to Australia; to no longer being in the minority. But maybe I will miss the attention a little too. I am certain that unless I become famous (& I can’t imagine under what circumstances that might occur) I will never experience reactions like this again. But that is fine by me, in this respect at least, I think I prefer the quiet life.